Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Class Novel Chapter 2-Preston Estes



Author’s Note:
I had fun writing this.  Got a little carried away.  I started a pintrest page for the class novel.  If you leave your email address I’ll try to make it where you can add pictures to it. The link is https://www.pintrest.com/prestonestes/class-novel/

Chapter 2

After the incident earlier, Barrie became quiet, making the awkward.  The tension was getting on Nat’s nerves.  Yeah, she knew it was bad, but she was hoping it wasn’t so bad that people just refused to talk to her.   If Barrie, a seemingly talkative guy was put into silence, then what would the rest of the people think if they were so like-minded as Barrie had claimed.  She began to wonder if leaving Sandiego had been a good idea.
No, she needed to leave.  Doing this was her best shot at getting a career as a director, no matter what her parents thought. 
At least the view was good.  Crystal waves lapped at the right side of the town, and deep azure sea was on the left.  Both were easily visible from the main road, Ballyhood Road according to one of the cities few signs, cut through the town from Mount Ballyhood’s green slope.  With larger white capped mountains behind it, the scene looked like something from one of those postcards from a gift-shop.
“Unalaska Bay and the Dutch Harbor,” said Barrie from the driver’s seat.
“Huh?”
“Unalaska Bay is the one on the right and the Dutch Harbor is the one on the left.   Saw you looking at them so I thought you might like to know their names.”
“Thanks.  They’re very beautiful, so serene and peaceful,” Nat said to the man.
“Yea, not at all like what they show on that show.  We actually only get a very few storms during the coldest months of the year.  For the most part its actually pretty calm and safe.  For instance if you look toward the bay you can see many yatchs and sailboats moored.”
Barrie was right.  At many of the docks in the bay ships off all kinds could be seen.  A few were a decent sized fishing ships, but most were medium sized yachts and sailboats.  Neigther were suited for the rough waters of a place that had constant storms.
“The town gets much of its money from boaters and wealthy families who like to sail on the calm clear waters.  We have always had fishing, but only recently have we become known for it,” Barrie said to an interested Nat.
“Do they stay year round, or is only during for a season or two?” asked Nat.
“Most rent out a place for their boats for most of the year on the docks, and then when the ice starts setting in in the late autumn they’ll have them put into dry docks or boat houses so they don’t get damaged. Then in the mid spring they’ll bring the boats back out.”
“It’s early summer now, so they’ll be out for a while then.  Is there a place I could charter one if I wanted to go out onto the water,” said Nat.
“Actually you can charter one from Grand Aleutian Hotel, I assume you’ll be staying there as there aren’t any other choices,” said Barrie.
“Yep.  Ill be staying there for a week or two, until the cabin I have on reserve is available, said Nat.
“Planning for a long vacation then?”
“Not really.  Its actually for my work,” said Nat.
            As the truck rolled along down the road, Nat took notice of some of different buildings in the town.  There were a very few houses, looking like much of the houses you can find anywhere.  A few small side roads, and one long bridge that divided the bay from the harbor.  But the thing that really caught her attention was the Holy Ascension of Our Lord Cathedral.  It was big, nearly three to four times as big as any other building in the town besides the hotel.  It look like it mainly while with two red thatched roofs, one on each floor.  The steeple was tall and ended with a green bud-like dome; it looked like a cross of Big Ben and one of the cathedrals in Moscow that she had seen pictures of in her World History textbooks.  The cathedral stood out from the rest of the buildings, but oddly enough it seemed to fit inside the town.
“Wow, never seen a church like that,” Nat said taking pictures of the building with a camera that she pulled out from her beige imported Tom Tailor Jacket.
“And probably won’t again.  We’re quite proud of our Cathedral,” said Berrie with a full belly laugh.
Nat couldn’t help but feel happy listening to this man.  The tension earlier had dissolved, leaving her more calm and feeling more open.
Then she spotted something just before the hotel.  It looked like a small road on a cliff with a metal shack at the end, but there seemed to be people waiting near the building with bags.
“What’s going on over there?” Nat asked.
“Where? Oh, there!  Those people are waiting for the plane to arrive,” Barrie said with a chuckle.
“Plane? But where is the runway?” asked Nat.
“See that little road just before the shack.”
“The short one on the cliff?”
“Yep.  That’s the runway,” said Barrie.
            Suddenly the landing she had before didn’t seem so bad.  The prospect of being on a plane that had to land and take off on a runway that was about half the size of an average runway that was perched on a cliff really made her stomach turn.
“Looks dangerous,” said Nat.
“Seems it, but it’s not.  The pilots here know what they are doing and it’s only for small passenger planes.  Everyone gets scared when they first see it, but we have never had an incident there.  Still most people usually come in from the airport in the next town, like you did,” said Barrie.
“How reassuring.”
Barrie pulled into the parking lot of her hotel.  It was big, with tan walls and a red roof that had several smaller roofs jutting from it.  The car went through the lot, until it pulled under the parking deck in front of the hotel doors, which were also big.  Grand didn’t even begin to cover the hotel.
            Before Nat got out of the truck, she made sure her bag was locked up, to prevent any further mishaps.  Opening the door, she stepped out into be met with a cool but not cold wind.  She turned around to face Barrie.
            “Thanks for the lift, Barrie.  How much do I owe you?”
            “You don’t owe me anything.  Always glad to help people out.  You’ll be surprised how many people come here without a ride to get them to the hotel,” Barrie said.
            “You do this often?” asked Nat.
            “Only on weekends when there is nothing else to do.  Actually about earlier, I’m sorry for acting a little rude.  I was just not expecting that, and t took me by surprise.  I was never good with surprises.  People here are very good and very fair, and won’t think much of it so you shouldn’t worry about it,” said Nat.
            “Don’t worry about it.  I kinda expected people to react like that, buts it nice to know that people here are kind.”
            “Yep.  The people here are the best.  Here take this,” said Barrie as he took a card from his dash, and handed it to her.
            “What’s this?” asked Nat.
            “Its my business card, well my son’s actually.  Nice lad, just came back from collage few weeks ago.  Had a bad break up too, but he’s jumping back.  My number is up under his, call if you need anything. I hope you have a nice stay,” said Barrie.
            He then pulled forward out of the parking deck, and turned the truck back onto the road.  Nat watched as the truck disappeared into the city before turning her attention to the card.  She read one name.
Jack.
Jack Cozier.
“Fuck.”

12 comments:

  1. This chapter was really nice in establishing setting- whoever is writing the next one will really have to actually start on the action and get at what the heart of the story will be. A few things: was it ever established what was in the suitcase that made the ending of chapter 1 so dramatic? I couldn't find any answer to that in this chapter. Also, let's try to break the pattern of ending each chapter on a cliffhanger, it feels pretty forced, and it will probably force the story in odd directions that it's not necessary to go.

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  2. I'm inclined to agree with Emma. Cliffhanger endings are not the way to go with the next several chapters. The formula needs to change, and the next chapter should not focus on creating drama that has no resolve. Also, I noticed some inconsistencies, but I blame that on our communication issues during the break. Both sides had issues come up, it happens.



    I do like that you expand upon the area of Unalaska. I know about several of the buildings you mention here. It was nice, and a crucial progression considering we are still learning about this world. Also, the role reversal from the misinterpretation is actually interesting. Leads to something potentially interesting. This is going to be a wild book, I just know it.

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  3. I agree with Emma and Griffin. Adding to Griffin's note, it's probably smart for everyone to list the names and short descriptions of the bay, harbor, mountain, road, and cathedral, so that we can stay consistent in the following chapters. I think both this chapter and Griffins have driven the narrative forward well, placing Nat in situations (needing a ride, having to sit in a car with a stranger) that force action/character to be revealed. I struggle with that in my writing, so it's good to learn from these first too chapters. Let's try to keep that going.

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  4. I love what you've done in creating setting. I think that we have a good overall idea of what Unalaska, Alaska is like and we even have cool specific place to re-explore and maybe Nat can film in these places.

    Although I have a lot of confusion with the first two chapters. I'm not sure what the significance of the suitcase was, and I think there was confusion among the two authors'. In chapter 1, I thought that it was Barry's suitcase that spilled, but in chapter 2 I thought it was Nat's.

    I also have no idea who Jack Cozier is. Did I miss something?

    Please help me out. I'm writing the third chapter and I'd like to figure these things out. I would hate for the third chapter to ignore these things completely, especially the suitcase. Was Nat hiding something or Barry?

    Looking forward to writing.

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    Replies
    1. I had written the suitcase as belonging to Barrie, but this chapter does make it appear that it belongs to Nat.

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    2. Chad you're doing chapter 3? Or was I supposed to be doing chapter 3? I have written down (novel chapter due april 2nd) in my planner I'm confused on when we're writing now.

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  5. The best parts here are the descriptions of the town. It seems an important thing to get a lot of in at the front. But, I guess we can kinda drift away from that for now. I can tell, like in Griffin's chapter, that some thought and research went into this as well as invention/fictionalization, so that is great. It is a good companion and continuation of the first chapter. Clearly, the suitcase thing isn't cleared up, but that was kind of a tough set-up. Gonna be real here, the Jack thing at the end could kinda be ignored...I don't know what the parameters of this chapter-writing are, but...like other said, chapters don't have to end in cliffhangers and this one seems forced, to be informal about it. It could work well with the right follow-up, but I want to get into why Nat is there in a detailed way and maybe some more personal reasons for her move and choices.

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  6. So like everyone else you did a good job of further expanding the setting of the story and attempting to show the big cultural difference between Nat's life in San Diego and now Alaska. I do like have Barrie as a new close friend to Nat and I feel that the companionship between them can blossom into a great thing or lead us down a path that is full of hardship. Also good. I'm going to agree with Timothy and say the the Jack Cozier thing is a bit much. I honestly don't know what to do with him. It's seems to strange to have someone she'll know be living in Alaska as well. If he came in later as a problem for Nat say around Chapter 10 or something it would be different. I just feel he's introduced to early. Also I want the suitcase thing cleared up. I don't want to sound demanding but, leaving that in the air seems unnecessary to me. For a short story maybe but for something of this length we should just go ahead and say it. Preston, overall it was a good chapter. A few bumps here and there, but really though good job.

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  7. I definitely agree with the comments about the cliffhangers and suitcase; SIdenote my planner says april 2 I'm doing a chapter unless I read or wrote wrong, someone else mentioned they were doing chapter 3? So am I writing this tomorrow night?

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  8. I definitely agree with the comments about the cliffhangers and suitcase; SIdenote my planner says april 2 I'm doing a chapter unless I read or wrote wrong, someone else mentioned they were doing chapter 3? So am I writing this tomorrow night?

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  9. This chapter had some nice set ups for the future situations. I am disappointed that you never referred back to the cliffhanger at the end of Chapter 1, and completely skipped over it as if it didn't even happen. There were also some syntax and grammatical errors that read strange. I agree too with the cliffhangers comments. It was cool in the first chapter, but the 2nd one didn't necessarily need one in order to close the chapter.

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  10. The setting was great in this story and I could tell you did a lot of research on the town. I think Barrie's character was great although I wanted to know what was in the suitcase. I got confused on whose suitcase it was because it seemed as if it was Barrie's in the beginning. I also wanted to know why Barrie was at the airport.

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